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lyrics

Jenny was my childhood friend
We grew up alongside each other, but our friendship came to a natural end
She was smart, tall, kind, she had long hair and porcelain skin
I don’t consciously remember drifting away, but a day came when I never saw her again

We’d walk around
for hours around town through the snow
And down to the riverbanks
I liked her peacoat

Often starting from the lone coffee shop
I missed Pedro the Lion play that place in the 90s or the early 2000s
Jenny always asked me to copy albums for her
And I gave her Paul’s Boutique, Slanted and Enchanted, and Joya

Many years later I saw a super pregnant Dawn McCarthy perform with Will Oldham
It seemed everyone from miles around was there

Back then I assumed she used the music I copied for her to impress other guys
We were both pretty broke back then, that wasn’t a surprise
I always hated Weezer but I never told her. The Sweater Song is the worst.
And I don’t listen to those albums like I used to

I think of Jenny every once in a while
But not that often
And I guess that makes me think about how people drift apart
I’m not the same person I was five years ago much less twenty

There was nowhere to sit at my parents house
I was embarrassed by the mess
There was no one quite like her around
She was my friend and not too much later
She had three kids

And no—we were never gonna be like Boz Skaggs’ “We're All Alone”
And I’m glad I never tried
It wasn’t like that and though we grew up near each other’s sides
For longer than not we’ve had separate lives

Many years later I’m still surprised to learn that Beau
Made a lot of records with bands that I loved listening to
While washing dishes or going for long walks in the cold mountain air
Or that I loved listening to during those times I pirated albums for Jenny, cuz I couldn’t say no to her

Last week I watched the Cavaliers / Warriors at JV’s place
With Beau and Maryam and Jason and Merrill
JV cracked us up rewinding this little kid in attendance doing a funny dance
On the screen over and over again

And I almost finished half a beer
I guessed the Warrior’s final score right on the nose
Maryam made me snort when she cracked a good joke
And she and Beau dropped me off and my girlfriend was like, “look at that big smile”

And now Beau’s mixing a few more tracks, and I’m sitting on the couch
Catching up and thinking
About my dreams and my aspirations
And how differently I perceive the world now

Yes, I think of Jenny every once in a while
But not that much
And I guess that makes me think about how people drift apart
I wonder who I’m gonna be in five years much less twenty

I ate waffles at my friends house and we hung out
And he said, “Happy Martin Luther King day.”
And I said “I don't know how to feel
About Martin Luther King day this year,” given all the events…

Later I went walking and looked up the hill
in a break from the flooding rains the sun made the pavement glow
I looked in and out of windows
In my neighborhood at all the people coming and going

Passing the Swedish American Hall
I remembered saying hi to Owen Ashworth after opening for David Bazan, I told him he was one of the best songwriters I’ve heard
My girlfriend likes him
But she hates it when David Bazan does Q&A

I think about how different my life is now than when I was a kid trapped in Alaska, and about life in sunny Oakland
And those silent winter walks through the snow
My friend Erin just texted me “Hey how Are Ya”
It’s been seven years since I’ve seen her and her little guinea pigs in Pennsylvania

And here’s another message, this one’s from Emilio
He said he couldn’t handle the way my ex girlfriend
Was dressing up her kid up with clothing sponsorships and social media posting
And he unfollowed her and I said Emilio, I don’t want to know, and he’s having a blast in Los Angeles

I suppose that’s a lot of diaper changing for an Instagram photo
At least Emilio taught me what SMH means

I like to sit alone at home when it rains
Play guitar, I could be better—I’m okay
At least I'm not flying around thousands of miles every other day
Although my girlfriend said she wants to visit Oslo or maybe Spain

We are surrounded by beautiful moments every day
We are surrounded by compassionate moments every day

My friend John just lost his mom to a heart attack
It made me get right on the phone with my dad
He hasn't left the house in a few days
Because of the cold snap

And at the same time I read in the news about another chemical attack in Syria
They’re saying it’s a nerve gas, the worst attack since the last

Jamie asked me if I'd ever read this Alaskan author, Eowyn something
I said “No, but I bet she made a bunch of tourists happy”
Let me guess she went to Washington State
A brief fact check confirmed Bellingham—I was pretty close

If you hedge all your bets on a bunch of stuff about your childhood you're gonna run out of ideas pretty quick
No angel will cry over your misspent youth or your love life
Write what you know, you know? What else are you going to leave behind?
But if anyone asks me about Alaska and brings up Werner Herzog or Sean Penn or reality television I’m going to stab myself in the fucking face

I’m up here looking down on Dolores
And at the plants growing on my balcony and at a junkie curled up asleep on the street below
He woke up for a few minutes and fed his little fluffy white dog and kissed him on the head
And all the construction contractors working on the building he’s sleeping on the side of are looking out for him
We are surrounded by beautiful moments of compassion every day

And I just gave Danny another call about my new guitar
and discovered we are neighbors
I said “Damn, I just got a synthesizer from the house next door!”

credits

from Parque México, released October 6, 2017
Kevin Dickerson - Words, vocals, electric guitars, drum machines, programming, Moog Sub Phatty

Engineered by Maryam Qudus and Kevin Dickerson
Mixed to 1/4" tape on Nagra IV-SJ by Maryam Qudus
Mastered by Jacob Winik at Tiny Telephone

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Kevin Dickerson San Francisco, California

Kevin Dickerson is a singer-songwriter who lives in San Francisco. His latest full-length album is called "Ginger Grapefruit."

Follow @kevindickerson on Instagram, Twitter

Photo: Kristin Cofer

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