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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Twelve Hours, Guadalupe Rivera Marín - Single, Ginger Grapefruit, Imbalances - Single, Sunburst, Parque México, In Cuauhtémoc - Single, Everyone's Okay, and 1 more.
1. |
Twitch
09:41
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I walked down the street to the train
talkin’ to Skip about amplifiers again
I need something with more power to carry these low notes
but we had to cut it short because of the noise from the wind blowing into my phone
He worked on my old Vibrolux
I thought it was from ’65 but it’s from ‘66
He fixed up that old ’61 Epiphone 5-watt
Pacemaker I used to record Tinderbox
I think it was only two people who listened to it in the weeks after the Ghost Ship fire when no one knew who I was
It was the first thing I released, and I still can’t figure out how to put music on my phone
I want to listen to Sunburst on the street with my headphones
and my battery already says it’s low
Had lunch at home today
too many calls to the insurance people
beans and rice and chard on tortillas from La Palma and salsa
I need to make sure the wet walls are taken care of
They're saying we got water damage in the ceiling due to negligence
and I somehow got a bruise on the heel of my left foot
My eyelid twitches
twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch
I thought I was getting enough rest
I don’t know if this twitch in my eyelid will ever go away
It’s been two months and I’ve been taking my B12 vitamin D
and I haven’t had any coffee in three days
I’ve been sticking to my physical therapy exercise schedule
and I'm slowly getting stronger
although I’m aching after standing up too long
I got a ticket from Jon from the War On Drugs
I was Beau’s Plus-One again, this time at the Fox
those guys sounded like they were under mud
The neighborhood is completely different than it used to be
don’t recognize anyone at Make Westing no more
nobody recognizes me on the street on the street no more
everyone was white—not just in the theater
there was an ice cream shop open at 8:30pm on the corner
Ran into Meric at the box office
I didn’t tell him how much I liked his drummer's drumming
Or that I like his albums they’re really something
I bet all the new residents of uptown Oakland like his albums too
I stood next to an attractive blonde during the show
she told me about her two grown kids and that she was a soccer coach
I could tell she was getting irritated
like, I’m on a clock, this conversation isn’t going anywhere
and twenty minutes into the set she left and went upstairs
and we all made fun of the crowd
everyone was nine feet tall and looked like they worked out way too much
and I couldn’t see all of Adam’s different guitars
So I left upstairs
and the guy next to Meric had a seizure and collapsed
The guy got up and got another beer
Jon’s saxophone playing is amazing
and haunting I love the sound
I told him let’s talk about working together
if you work hard you will succeed
if you show others your enthusiasm people will believe in you and get into it
stayed up ’til three looking at synthesizers
just four guys with no beers sipping on water
talking about tools for making beautiful music
me and Beau and Jon and Nate
plugging in cables late to modular synthesizers
One of my friends overcame a severely difficult
period of time in her life this year and has now overcome it
she used to live in West Oakland and like so many others had to leave the Bay Area
and now she’s now travels to an office downtown a few times a month
In this newly renovated office building in the molten core of technology
away from the horrible working conditions that triggered her
She got the help she needed to get through her problems
and I’m proud of her for getting through it
she gave me a purple shirt, the logo said “TWITCH” on it
The kombucha’s on tap
The beer’s on tape
They've got cold brew on tap, too
My fingernails go tap tap tap
on the table talking details with the insurance people
tap tap tap
my eyelid goes
twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch twitch
It’s all gonna work out
I just gotta get more sleep
Got done with the gym
huffing and puffing and sweaty
in my sweaty black track jacket
there was a woman in the elevator at the gym
I noticed she had the exact same model surgical post-op boot on her right foot
I said “I had the exact same model boot on my right foot too”
she said “how long’d you have it?”
I said, "six weeks" but I didn’t remember which time it was
that I had that exact model boot
was it surgery number three or number four, I can’t remember
was it surgery number three or number four, I can’t remember
and now it’s night time in my house
and I don’t feel like picking up Cortéz and Moctezuma
and I can’t find "Waging Heavy Peace" so guess I’ll just go to sleep
and I can’t find "Waging Heavy Peace" so guess I’ll just go to sleep
I’m gonna climb into these clean sheets
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2. |
Roma
05:37
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Josh texted me at 9:45am, “Anchorage earthquake”
I figured everything was fine, and not to spoil the suspense but yes everything’s okay
Saw a band the other night
In the middle of the set I thought man this is loud
I don’t remember feeling so uncomfortable during a set like that
Everyone around me was rocking along and jamming out
Some relief for the fires came that night in the form of pouring rain
The sound woke me up in that night, the sky looked just like a Renaissance painting
From Portugal or Spain It reminded me of my trips to Europe
Going to the Prado and the Reina Sofía
I never saw skies like that before, not in Alaska and not in New York or Texas or British Columbia
Or Pennsylvania or Florida or New Jersey or Oregon or Washington or Mexico Or Ontario or Nova Scotia or West Virginia
or Ohio or France or El Salvador or Panama or California
These beautiful renaissance painting skies I thought were an exaggeration of reality
But guys like Vasconcelos got that right, that’s why they called them the masters of renaissance painting
These massive orange clouds and beautiful sun rays
blanket the pastoral earth as day transitions into night
The smoke choked the city and everyone was walking around with white masks on
Everything ground to a halt until these cooling rains started coming down
And now there’s landslides and who knows what else, other crazy shit to deal with
But all the devastation and tallying loss of life is still ongoing so I’ll put that one aside for a minute
Portugal had recently dealt with deadly fires on that New Year’s visit at the beginning of 2018
I came to feel that Lisbon is San Francisco’s Atlantic twin
From the three-quarter-sized doors to the miniature train cars, they even built a bridge designed by the Golden Gate architect guy
I have a lot of affection for that place and its people
Maybe we could learn something from them about their recovery
Hung out with my photographer friend Katie in Oakland the other day
She took some pictures for the Internet
Packed up my kitchen things, my glassware and plates
Things aren’t gonna be back to normal until after the fucking holidays
Reading the Reuters British News Service, the world is going to hell
But there’s no surprises there so I’m gonna watch Netflix on my couch
And watch Alfonso Cuarón’s masterpiece, “Roma”
Which takes place in the neighborhood where several of my friends were born
The symbolism of rebirth and fire versus water is a very old Mexican motif
My girlfriend asked me how do I know so much about the subject, I said what do you think I’ve been so busy with?
And now it’s Christmas eve and we’re gonna get together and eat at Shalimar for dinner
I walked down the wet streets and through the piles the wet leaves
That had gathered on the sidewalk dips and the cracks
I wondered when the next time would be that I would spend in the Roma neighborhood
I remember carrying my guitar on those rainy streets
Up the art deco staircase to my rented apartment, making lunch and taking naps
Until the cold summer rains of Mexico City and lightning strikes woke me up with their rolling thunder claps
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3. |
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I kissed my girlfriend goodnight and went off to sleep
Four or five hours later she woke me up to get ready to to go Monte Rio
She’s gotta get up there early because our friend Christine
Has to be available in person for the Comcast guy
The fires disconnected some wires and her internet went down
And there’s no cell service up there otherwise
She took off and I fell back asleep for a few more hours
Before today’s session with Maryam
I woke up with the morning light and the magnolia tree leaves
cast beautiful shadows on the curtains in my bay window
I watched them shimmer and move for a while
Oh, it’s nice to be home
On this windy September morning
I had leftover pizza for breakfast
I'm sitting on the couch
Studying some Spanish vocabulary words
Gonna finish a song today I don’t know what it’s gonna be called yet
Maybe I’m gonna call it Twitch
It’s got themes of gentrification and mental health
And some other cool notions
Some of the founding fathers were racist,
The papers say
A startling revelation I’m sure for some
Many of us only know what we’re told
I remember in elementary school feeling creeped out
Every time we stood at our desks as our patriotic national anthem
Was sung and drilled into our heads
The words of an evil man who called black Americans “a distinct and inferior race of people”
Oh, it’s nice to be home
This windy September morning
Maybe I’ll make some tea today
Went to see John Zorn with Laurie Anderson and Terry Riley the other day
Brought my girlfriend to the show
She said it was quote-unquote “interesting”
I took a picture of the marquee outside with my cell phone
Like Sami said, it’s good to not forget how lucky we are
To live where we live and have venues like this
That host good music
That bring music for Coachella girls dance to
And brings experimental music by a saxophone guy making all kinds of crazy hoots and blasts
John Zorn played a single blast for like six minutes
I felt so lucky to see three incredible influences together in the same room on the same stage
Oh, it’s nice to be home
This windy September morning
My single ticket to Thurston Moore is on my fridge for Wednesday
Maybe someday I too can collaborate with some
talented musicians
Until then I’m going to keep taking pictures outside
With my old cameras and I’m gonna keep working
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4. |
Ginger Grapefruit
07:02
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I am thankful for you
And your many many gifts you have given me
Like this organic
Ginger-grapefruit–scented deodorant that glides on so easily
No doubt in my mind
This is the finest deodorant I’ve ever had in my life
And the packaging is very nice
And I’m grateful to you
Sometimes I’m like yeah,
I had a good week, it’s easy being me
And other times I don’t feel so much
Like getting out of our warm sheets to face the cold of the city streets
I’m sorry if I’ve been preoccupied
With my music my night classes or my day job
I know you’ll be there to care for me
And I'll be there to care for you eventually
It’s not easy being me
I know I make it look easy
But it’s not easy
I have had many difficulties
Like so many others do
But unlike them I can depend on you
I am thankful for you
And your many many gifts to me
Like your unconditional support and for your patience
Like when I need rest after hobbling around on European cobblestone streets
Or your morning smiles
Your kindness radiates for those lucky enough to receive it
Even when I smell horrible after a 13 hour day or a 14 hour day
Pushing through the crowds of 30-somethings in the Financial District
Wearing Financial District costumes can wear me down
Another friend took his wife and his young daughter
And moved out of town
I hired a young Korean guy to clean my old Subaru
It’s the first car I’ve owned since 2006 and
And it’s 18 years old and has a rebuilt engine
The guy did a shitty job at first but came back and fixed it the next week
He put the work into it
If we were all more tolerant and forgiving the world would be a better place
Time is a river that is flowing
You’re here with me and I am grateful
People are talking about impeachment out their ass and no one knows what’s going on
John McCain died of glioblastoma yesterday afternoon
He made my life hell by nominating Sarah Palin
People kept asking me the most absurd questions
(Is it 24 hours of darkness all the time?)
(How is Alaska so cold if it’s off the coast of Texas)
(Have you ever seen that zombie movie?)
(Is Alaska really big?)
(Do you know Sarah?)
(Are bears really dangerous?)
(Have you ever seen a bear?)
(I heard the summers are really bright, how do you sleep?)
(Do you get depressed because it’s dark all the time?)
(You must eat fish every day)
(Are you an eskimo?)
Are you an Alaska Native?
Is it dark all year long?
Do you ride dogsleds to school?
Are there any black people in Alaska?
What are you?
Did you ever see penguins?
Are there just polar bears walking around?
But I have to respect him, he took a risk
I don’t care much for politicians
But he raised awareness for a disease my mother died from
Maybe someone will live a better life because of him
Anyway yeah there’s a lot
Going on in the world
Just like always
That’ll never change
I personally kind of like having a lot going on
Even if if we’re not always on the same page
Like I said, I am thankful for you
Eternally
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5. |
Imbalances
15:21
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Everyone’s sick around me and I’m starting to get a cold
I don’t know why people want to hang out when they’re sick, it’s very American
No one wants to get sick after someone sits next to you on a couch and sneezes and coughs without even trying to cover their mouth
Maybe I’m not getting sick and it’s allergies or because there is a significant amount of mold in my house
The mold is there because someone made a mistake and was afraid to property mitigate a water-damage-related problem
Maybe they were afraid that they might lose their job or not get a raise they needed or cause unnecessary pain or admit they caused it
Some heroes are dying and are now permanent modern gods like David Robert Jones aka Davie Bowie
Some heroes are fallen and remain alive after being exposed as manipulative serial assaulters like “BC”
Bill Cosby always gave me weird vibes with his authoritarian father figure posturing
I’ve had a disdain for authority my entire life and many adults around me always creeped me the fuck out
If you are a pastor and have a fondness for children and dress like a clown it’s fucking creepy
There’s no reason to put on makeup and dress in a costume to befriend children in two thousand fucking eighteen
You may encounter people who will try to mold you into their version of what they want you to be instead of the best version of who you want to be
To me such people are scared and fearful and don’t want to lose status in their society
If you put on your resume that you liked drugging people with Methaqualone in hotel rooms I don’t know that you would get many hits on your C.V.
I have to admit I never watched the standup of or listened to the comedy records of Bill Cosby
Three-to-ten years seems like not enough time in prison for the large number of lives BC damaged permanently
and sixty-nine years on this planet is far too short to be granted to the modern god David Bowie by this universe
There are two men in my apartment right now cutting up walls with power tools
I had time to cook breakfast this morning but I left for lunch to St. Francis because of the dust and the noise
I have some phone calls this afternoon to talk about Art History
I can’t remember it quite right but I think I remember someone was talking about Luaka Bop the other day
It’s bothering me that I can’t remember the conversation but that irritating itch in my brain
Made me think of a man who taught me about Mexican Muralism
His name is Greg Landau and I believe David Byrne asked him to help with Luaka Bop in the 80s or 90s
He worked with people like Los Lobos and Quetzal and Carlos Santana and now works in Film Industry
His father was a filmmaker and documented Fidel Castro and he’s somehow been an influence on my life
I wish I could talk about music with him but our relationship isn’t at that place
Our conversations have so far strictly about art and history and art history given our busy schedules
Although once he led me to Estudio 19 in Mexico City
Now I’m studying more artists, this time with a focus on modern aspects
And I just got off the phone with a professor of art history and she said what I am doing is on the cutting edge
One of the contractors cutting holes in my walls with power tools is now singing
And I can hear the two of them talking in Spanish about what they want to eat for lunch it’s an important conversation
The breakfast I cooked this morning was more or less Mexican in nature and involved tortillas and habaneros
And I wasn’t expecting two guys to come into my apartment at the precise moment I was taking a bite out of a blue corn taco
I had a moment of insecurity where I wondered if they were like what’s this overweight white guy doing eating tacos with ancho chile salsa for breakfast
Standing up this old Victorian’s kitchen wearing sweatpants and a Spiritualized sweatshirt
Now my nose is sniffling and my throat is hurting a little
I did an hour of training yesterday and it got my heart rate up with high intensity intervals
My trainer found a knot in my calf caused by my muscle imbalances
and said my tendons felt crunchy and she didn’t know calves could sweat that much
My pants are tight and I’m trying to trim down
Eating lunch at St. Francis isn’t helping anything so I’d better cut that out
The guy at the counter asked me where I’m from and I said it’s a long story
I said I haven’t lived in San Francisco that long, I lived in Oakland before
I said I’d rather not tell you where I’m from, you’ll find out in the next Marvel origin story movie
But where I live now is warmer, I found the other neighborhoods too cold and too windy and too foggy
He poured me water and asked me if I went to the Spiritualized show at the Fillmore
I said yes, I got this sweatshirt at the merch booth—I had just a t-shirt, it was very cold and windy so I bought it
We chatted for a minute and he said he was disappointed in the concert
I was like the guy’s been doing the same thing for probably your entire life, didn’t you know what you were in for?
My guess is Pitchfork gave the reissue of Ladies And Gentlemen we are Floating in Space a big fat 10
The guy saw the 10 and read the sentence “Spaceman is a modern god, and the cool kind of former drug addict” and bought tickets
Well that modern god has exclusively sat in a chairs with sunglasses on facing away from the audience reading sheet music for thirty years, even when he was on heroin
That’s why he hires very very very attractive backup vocalists
This guy seemed to have adopted a Jason Schwartzman kind of vibe
and he probably read a blog that said the Mission is one of the the coolest neighborhood in the States—5 stars /5
He’s probably getting down with all the hipster girls of the mission
Who talk about being broke all the time and have thousand dollar tattoos
I was practicing Spanish and my friend Emilio texted “can we listen to Rush”
I texted back “yes” and that’s just what we did
Got home last night just after nine pm
My old friend Emilio came home late too he’s visiting and we stayed up catching up and listening to music
I’ve got this twitch in my eyelid that I’ve been trying to get rid of cutting out coffee and getting enough sleep
But my life isn’t conducive to stability or a regular sleep schedule and I think that’s just the way it is
Last night I had a dream that I was writing more songs and performing on stage
Another dream that will soon become reality
I wrote the music in my head last night and I’m going to track it and put it down to tape
In my dream I was playing my Spanish guitar but I think I’ll play the guitar Danny Ransom made me
it’s new and cool and it’s faster to record electric and I don’t want to lose the ideas so I try to capture them quickly
and in the moment I have to wait until Friday to record this next idea so maybe by then I’ll play it differently
Maybe my mood will change by then and it’ll end up sounding slower or upbeat
Maybe another rock and roll legend will die causes, or someone will win the lottery
Maybe something else will make the news and it will inspire me to sing about it
These are surprising times, like, at this moment I’m reading a lede in the New York Times with the words “Kavanaugh” and “gang raped” in the same sentence
And it’s an actual part of an actual conversation about appointing someone who assaults women to the supreme court.
Between tracking the first part of the vocals and this part the guy from Jefferson Airplane died last night
Marty Balin, a patron of the 1960s “San Francisco Sound”
It’s a ‘mean drunk’ versus teenage girls
It’s a ‘mean drunk’ versus teenage girls
It’s a ‘mean drunk’ versus teenage girls
It’s a ‘mean drunk’ versus teenage girls
Let’s make the right choice and not appoint a scared little boy to the supreme court
Let’s make the right choice and not appoint a scared little boy to the supreme court
Let’s make the right choice and not appoint a scared little boy to the supreme court
Let’s make the right choice and not appoint a scared little boy to the supreme court
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6. |
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My friend Dan sent me a song about
His kids and his dead brother
He said I inspired him and he’s buying a house in Oregon with his beautiful wife and his growing number of kids
He’s teaches mathematics
to be precise topologies He gave me confidence
when I was a young no one else believed in me we listened to vinyl and watched the Simpsons on repeat
Took another trip to 15 Lafayette
To talk to Gary about some new pickups I wanted to get
For my blue guitar
I picked up my new guitar from Danny the other day
Between takes of singing Our Lips are Sealed
It was worth the wait
The clean lines are beautiful and the sound
is from outer space
I just need to consider what to play on it
Now I’m working on something new
I’ll put some words to this melody
I just came up with in the studio today
Live is never over, is it?
You gotta make time for the things in life you love
We gotta keep working
We gotta keep working
There’s much to do and we never know when our time is up
Ran into Brian Belknap on the street
Playin’ his old Gretsch resonator
I bought his album In Lieu of Flowers, he played a song for me it sounded great
Brian MC’d Aish and Andrew’s show the day before
At the lost church He’s a good host
and emphasized the lack of that kind of artist performance space these days
He said my music had inspired him
and it was refreshing to hear someone who has a voice of their own
and isn't just rehashing tired old tropes
I used to push my face to the window
And stare at the patterns of frost in the glass
Watching the snow fall from the spruce trees and the naked birch branches so silently
Live is never over, is it?
You gotta make time for the things in life you love
I do my thing you do your thing
Isn’t it easy?
I could feel the moisture
coming though the windows
with my every breath pressed up to the frozen glass
What do I do with my days?
I stare at the hills and watch san francisco fog and mist, it’s good for my allergies
No thanks, I’ll pass on the four-hour bacon restaurant horseshit money sink
Avinash said I inspired him
We’re gonna make music together
He’s a good friend and a killer shredder
Live is never over, is it?
You gotta make time for the things in life you love
Live is never over, is it?
You gotta make time for the things in life you love
Avinash said he hurt is knee
Right before a marathon
I said don’t worry my friend keep running there’ll be another one
I said I’m scrunching towels with my toes
stepping up onto a box and stepping off
and moving my foot in circles clockwise and counterclockwise at my local gym
I watch the clock
Count the days and mark the seasons
I wonder when issue two of Lyrics as Poetry’s gonna come in
Here I am a year later after Parque México
A summer later
After I made a record with Maryam
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7. |
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Friday March 1st, 2019
That fixer guy Cohen was on TV all day getting a grilling
Yesterday while I was in here writing and strumming
We discussed how Ryan Adams may be a Prisoner soon and about the news reports
What a disappointment; R. Kelly went to McDonalds after an anonymous source paid his bail
This Sunday Oprah Winfrey’s helping take the Michael Jackson legacy down on HBO
I feel like I’ve been repeating myself over and over but I think it’s truly been raining nonstop for six months and although I can’t say this out loud I miss the drought
I spent last week singing classics and doing my best impression of Willie on “Stardust”
And wrapped up the “Lost and Strange Years” album with Sami Perez
I still haven’t finished Cortez and Montezuma book
It’s been on my nightstand for ages along with the Four Agreements
If you haven’t seen Bill Hader in “Barry” do yourself a favor and watch it
During a brief downtime I watched that and True Detective season 3 on my couch
I’ve got my priorities straight and I can’t wait to share this music with you
I’m wrapping up this session on Sunday and I’m still just getting started with this journey in music
Phoebe Bridgers, I’m sorry I was fooled by the media reports
You are talented musician and deserve the best success in this world
Some days I feel like a fool, disappointed and let down
Other days I can’t stop the words from coming out
Phoebe Bridgers you are always welcome in San Francisco
Anyway I’m sure this won’t be the end of the story
There are only the beginning
There are so rarely satisfying endings in life
Most of us are doing the best we can, we never stop trying / we never stop trying
The last weekend my friend’s father-in-law spent alive was in San Francisco
He must have had his reasons but he hid his medical condition
From his family in the OC
He passed away unexpectedly from heart disease
She came over and we had tea and she said
She’s getting used to the taste of salad greens
Another friend’s sister died of an overdose on a restaurant floor
Her junkie boyfriend walked away from the hospital, these things happen daily
My friend Christine celebrated seven years cancer-free
I saw the old photo on Instagram and smiled seeing her smiling face
Gonna fly to Oaxaca
Gonna help pick out some bathroom tile
Yes, I’m gonna go to the gym
Gotta stick to my commitments to myself, in the end that’s all we’re left with
Last night I walked down the street after my session
Past a girl talking about how grateful she is for the people in her life to her friend
I’m wrapping this album and was thinking about sequencing
On Christmas Day I recorded Feliz Navidad with Maryam so here it is
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8. |
Feliz Navidad
03:06
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feliz navidad
feliz navidad
feliz navidad
feliz navidad
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
I wanna wish you a merry Christmas
from the bottom of my heart
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Kevin Dickerson San Francisco, California
Kevin Dickerson is a songwriter who lives in San Francisco.
Follow @kevindickerson on Instagram
Photo: Katie Thyken
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